Bangalore Babble VI

From The Agonist:
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Conversation with an Indian IT Professional

"Yes, hello, this is Sean Kelley calling from Singapore, may I speak with Mr. Kumar?"

"Mr. Kumar? May I ask why?"

"Yes, he is evaluating our software and I wish to speak with him about it."

"Oh, Mr. Kumar is not here."

"Do you know when he will return?"

"No, I don't."

"This is his mobile number, yes?"

"No, he doesn't have one. This is his sister's brother's cousin's mobile, I am Suresh. He only has a phone at work."

"Ah, I see. Do you have that number?"

"Yes, but their line is down now. Can I take a message?"

"I'll send him an email. Thanks."

Some of you wanted to know some of the obstacles to doing business in India were. I think this short, 100% true, dialogue captures the essence of the challenges on the ground there the best. As for what a 'sister's brother's cousin' is, who knows?

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McCain's Gone to the Dogs?

Sometimes polling just gets completely stupid. This is one example of that:

Pet Owners Favor McCain

Next thing we know they'll be handing out Milk Bones at political rallies. Woof!

Fire Congress!

Congress is not addressing the issues of concern to American citizens. Therefore, I cannot vote for any incumbent in this election. Credit card companies continue to abuse Americans, and Congress does nothing. Oil prices are out of control, Congress does nothing. Illegal immigration and fraudulent H-1b programs are out of control and Congress does nothing. American wages and benefits continue to decline while employers try to displace Americans with foreign workers. What does Congress do, they encourage this destruction of the American economy. In spite of the continuous stream of evidence that corruption in American corporations and financial institutions, Congress turns a blind eye. Congress no longer works for the American people and it is obvious that no one in Congress should remain employed. You can bet that if I performed my job, for my employer, as Congress has done theirs for the American people, I would have been fired long ago!

Hypocrisy, Thy Name is Sweetie.

First we found out that Barack Obama is a hate-speech loving racist, and now it looks like he's a sexist pig, too. I'm confused; is this the Democrats messianic candidate for President or just another misogynistic rapper in a suit and tie? Apparently the press can't make up their mind either. Just imagine if John Edwards had called a female reporter "sweetie" and tell me if you think the press reports would have read like these:

...raised the question of when, if ever, such terms may be used appropriately with people with whom one is not intimately involved. The formal answer is never. But, given the increasingly loose language tossed around by Americans, the informal answer is sometimes—depending on such factors as time, place, context and inflection, to name just a few. For instance, Southerners so routinely sprinkle "sugar," "darlin'," and "honey" on conversations with strangers that they would be shocked if offense were taken.
- Chicago Tribune -

Addressing someone as "sweetie" isn't necessarily sexist, as any diner patron can attest; it can easily be a term of endearment, depending on whether or not it's welcome.
- Newsweek -

Hmmmmm...so the party of the elite intellectuals now finds the language of the Southern greasy-spoon diner acceptable? It's heartwarming to see the hillbillies and hicks unknowingly saving the bacon of the latte set. Burnt coffee and day old fritters for everyone, sweetie!

Oil Speculation as a Richboy Bailout

This rampant oil speculation, that does nothing but drive up the price and line the pockets of the rich, must stop. How in the world can anyone expect an economic stimulus or recovery plan to work, if all we end up doing is pouring the money into our gas tanks. Meanwhile, speculators, many of whom helped cause the sub-prime mess, are getting a bailout on the backs of gasoline consumers. Once again, the middle-class and poor are propping up the rich. When is this going to stop!?

I Want a Refund!

The following is my letter to the Obama campaign. A few months ago I was swept up in the Obama "change" rhetoric. This was, of course, before I found out that Obama is as stuck in the past as all the other racists in America, no matter their race or color.

Is there any way my campaign donation can be returned. I made that donation before I realized that Senator Obama was a racist and that he supports racism. I mean, first he attends a racist, hate filled church for 20 years and then he says that "people" in "small town" Pennsylvania are bitter and clinging to their guns and religion? I wonder what would happen if Senator Clinton said that "people" in "inner city" America were bitter and clinging to their guns and religion?

I don't support racism, from ANYONE! Please return my ill-advised donation as soon as possible.

He's Wright and He's a Racist

Wright confirms his racism.

Finally, Rev. Wright brings to light something that the radical far left has denied forever, that African-Americans can and will be racist. Not only that, but most of the extreme far left are white-guilt racists themselves. Wright is a racist and he should not be tolerated by anyone who values positive racial harmony. Wright also needs to take a history lesson or two, so he understands why most Americans and most intelligent Japanese realize that America will never apologize for bombing Japan in order to end WWII and save countless lives on both sides. Finally, Obama, who showed his own racism in Pennsylvania, should have left Wright's hate filled church long ago. Maybe he was just "bitter" and "clinging" to his religion. Actually, I guess "bitter" would best describe his racist pastor.

Crapco Up on Stick Cuts

Dungville based manufacturing company Crapco announced today that it will be removing the stick from its flagship product, Shit-On-A-Stick. CEO Harry Bunghole made the decision public at a press conference this morning. "We've listened to our customers and they have told us that it's time for stick free shit" proclaimed Bunghole.

Crapco also claimed that removing the stick is good for the environment. A spokeman told Spongy-Poo that even renewable, non-forest products like bamboo present a problem. "Nothing could be worse for our image than for customers to think we are taking food from the mouths of baby pandas."

Wall Street was bullish on the move. T.P. Morgans head of fecal futures offerings, M.Y. Pheces said investors had been calling all morning to check on the availability of backdoor entry to a rumored Crapco IPO. Pheces told our reporter, "If it goes, there is sure to be a back up of paperwork to be done. Right now the market could use a good flush and this might be just the move that gets the job done."

In related news, Playtex announced plans for a new plant to manufacture rubber gloves.

Child Pornographers, Tulare County Loves You!

First, read this: Librarian Fired After Reporting Kiddy Porn Incident

I believe everyoine should have the opportunity to live where they fit in best, so I decided to write to the Tulare County Board of Supervisors. Here's my letter, sent to the Tulare County Board of Supervisors at jforbes@co.tulare.ca.us

Good Morning,

I was wondering if it would be okay for me to spread a few flyers around my town, directing all child pornographers to move to Tulare County. I can’t imagine a place they would rather live. I mean, not only are kiddy porn viewers encouraged to use the local library facilities, but apparently the Library also provides early warning services and build in cover from law enforcement. Library Specialist Judi Hill showed her total dedication to porn perv defense by intercepting the rogue actions of Brenda Biesterfeld. Ms. Hill should be commended for protecting the rights of kiddy porn hounds everywhere. Now that Tulare County has fired Biesterfeld, I just can’t think of any other place that child pornographers would want to live. My only concern is that the library may not have enough computers to accommodate all users.

Please forward along all necessary relocation information, including the addresses of all elementary schools, day care centers, and police stations. I’m sure it’s just a formality, but please confirm that Tulare County has no sex offender notification programs. Employment information is helpful, too. The gentlemen I’ll be referring to your community have experience as teachers, party clowns, photographers, and of course, librarians.

Thanks for your time and cooperation. I know that several of our local perverts are looking forward to becoming wonderful, productive members of your community.

Sammenhold