Geriatric Genocide?

If you're not too senile to read, take a look at this:

First Baby Boomer Files For Social Security Benefits

Isn't this great!? Now, we can all stop trying to blame greedy corporations for our economic woes. We can cease all this silliness about the top 1% hogging all of the wealth. Forget all that, blame the old folks! They're an easy group to pick on and heck, they'll be dead before they can object too much. Screw'm! What in the world makes the elderly think that after a lifetime of work they are entitled to $1000 a month of our money? I mean, all they'll do is waste it on food, drugs, and loans to their grandchildren who would not even need to borrow money if only Grandma would stop sucking off the government teat.

And don't even start with the excuse that their pensions were "borrowed" and wasted out of existence. Obviously old people were just too busy working for a living to make any real money. Work is so old school and Gramps should have known better!

There's just no good economic growth market for the elderly, except maybe the telemarketing business. However, even that has been killed of by the protectionist Do-Not-Call list. Old people make no contribution to our growth driven economy. They take all the good jobs at Walmart. They refuse to sell their homes to smart, young real estate investors and disappear into profit driven $4000 a month eldercare facilities.

Something must be done before it's too late. A final solution must be developed and our country's best and brightest need to address the old people problem. Unfortunately, due to increased longevity, attrition is not likely to bring about the desired redistribution of wealth to our more deserving youth. In fact, we may need to borrow from the hugely successful corporate model and simply cut back on our resource wasting elderly population. After all, what's wrong with a little geriatric genocide as long as it gives the stock market a bump.

I'm so proud to be an American right now!